Sunday, February 10

Becoming more human

I think my personality is changing and I don’t like what is going on…
True. I feel like I had undergone at least five major personality changes in my lifetime, and it is probably a common phenomenon… But gees why can't I just stay the same… I guess as we go through life things that affect us change or mold us in some way I cannot pinpoint all (but I can a few) the things that have caused a dent in my frame.

Of all, there are two major things I am not liking so far and it is
1. Caring too much. By this, I don’t mean being nice but rather caring about what people think, if they like me or if I am hated by a person. This is something I never really cared about…. it's quite sad and depressing when I brood over it I need this feeling to go because it's keeping my spirit down
2. Keeping things to myself I love to speak my mind but I have been filtering and holding back a lot of stuff just because of people’s reactions and actions towards me. I don’t think I hate this one as much though
3. Seeking attention. OK, I detest this with a passion….like why? I feel like I am walking backward in mentality with this one
4. Bringing the emotional walls back up. I am extremely ok with this one because in order for me to mentally stable my personal relationships are gonna be gauged, and tested. I tried opening up once…big fail.

IDK I think I need to pray especially about the negatives I like my personality and a few modifications are not that bad as long as they are positive…
however, I feel like 2 and 4’would  go.


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